I’m in a class this semester that I did not want to take because of the demand it puts on us. So I choose it because I thought “if I don’t want to do something that is suppose to help me it probably means that I need it”. But what I didn’t realize was how important it was for me to have chosen this class at this point in my life. Because right I am going though a season where the Lord is working in me a lot, taking away all the stuff that holds me back from Him and taking a class where I learn to discipline myself is very much needed. It’s only been two weeks but I am already being pushed to deal with things that I have either been hiding, pretending are not there, or masking as something else.
So this post is me calling myself out and confessing what I have been doing wrong so I can bring it into the light so that the Lord can start to work that out in me.
I have been a fake and a hypocrite. I have been walking out in anger, been judgmental and have not loved the sons and daughters of the Lord.
I am a Christ follower that is what I identify as. But I have not been walking and acting like Him.
Because of things that are happening to me personally I have been openly angry but it is not a righteous anger like I should be but had a selfish anger. An anger so strong that has come from the bitterness that have been pretending that was not there for years (I have been pretending so well that I believed that it wasn’t.) And honestly all of the other things come from this.
I have been judgmental. I have been thinking and speaking about some people in a negative way before I really get know them. I have been masking this as me being real, because I used to just keep it inside now I’m more vocal about my thoughts. But I know that it isn’t what it is at all.
And what is the most important(to me at least) is I have not been loving people. I have put in a place where my responsibility is to love to show love and to help. And I have making it seem like I am but truly within me I have hated others, and even though it is not the people I’m suppose to show love to, I have still been hating people.
All these things together make me the biggest hypocrite(again to me at least) because none of them make me like Jesus..
Again I say all this because I am now aware of them and I feel the need to confess them. And they are all things that the Lord has already started dealing with in me.
So I would just like to say I repent and ask for forgiveness. And tell anyone who I have acted this way toward knowingly and anyone who I have acted this way toward when I didn’t even know I was doing it, I am sorry, I truly am!!
It is a process but I trust in my Father and I know that if He has made these things known to me it was not to shame me on my wrongs but fix me and help me overcome them.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.- 1 John 1:9
Keep on living!!!