Christian Living · My Journey

The Problem With Praying For Our Future Husbands: Part One


As a 22 year old girl who’s girl friends all have boyfriends who always post pictures of them going to exciting and fun places together and who also knows a whole a lot of others in the same age range who are either engaged or already married I would be lying if I said I haven’t prayed for a boyfriend or my future husband in the last 6 months, or the last two weeks.

While praying one day I said the same prayer I realized that I always make (and I believe that most girls do) starting with “Lord I want a man who loves you more than anything…” and leading into the list of my non-negotiable.

Side note: I am not saying that having a list of nonnegotiable is wrong because in reality it is really good and anyone who is friends with me knows I definitely have my list (but that’s a story for another day).

Then I started praying about how I would like my future boyfriend and husband to treat me and make me feel. That’s where it all changed!

The Lord stopped me in the middle of that and said to me “Why are you only praying about how he should treat you? Pray all the things you have been praying for yourself for him instead.”
That was when I realized that I (like I believe many single girls) pray for what I want my guy to be like and how I want him to treat me but I forget about what he needs me to be like and how I should treat him.

And to get to my point, what I believe is wrong with us single girls praying for our future husbands or boyfriends is that we only care about our needs and ourselves in our prayers.

We pray for them to be men of God. We pray for them to be loving. We pray for them to be worshipers. We pray for them to be caring, kind, and thoughtful.

But we forget that we need to be all those things too. We forget that in order for the guys to love us in that way we need to love them that way back. Because the truth is that even if our future boyfriends and husbands are that way toward us even if we don’t give that caring, kindness, thoughtfulness, and love back to them in the same way (and even more) eventually they will get burned out, tired, and I believe start to give up and after you are married already that is a tragedy(forgive me for saying but that is my honest opinion).

We need to stop praying that whatever guy is going to be in our future romantically learns to be and do all these things but we need to start praying for us to start learning and being all these things so we can receive the love we are putting out, because honestly, we cannot expect for our future men to show us love if we don’t show them love back.

“So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.”
– Matthew 7:12


Keep On Living!!!


One thought on “The Problem With Praying For Our Future Husbands: Part One

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