So the one day I was reading a temperament test I took. It was an in-depth test where there were three categories and it explained what temperament I would have for each and then explained some of the qualities I most likely had based on that. And there was this one quality that caught my eye! This test said that I had a tendency to want to appear competent instead of actually being competent. I was confused by this so I looked up the word competent ( I mean I knew what it meant but I wanted to make sure). The word competent means that you have the knowledge or skill that is needed to do something successfully. Now when I read that I have a tendency to appear competent I was like “That doesn’t really make any sense. How can someone appear competent? To be competent that means that you have to do something.”
So I got to thinking….
What does it mean to appear?
Well to appear means to become visible, to arrive, or to give the impression of being.
So what that test was saying was that I had the tendency to give off the impression that I was something or was good at something but not actually doing or being that thing.
To me, that translated to faking it.
What a harsh thing to read, right?
“Hey Brenda, guess what? You have a tendency to be fake. You will most likely try to fake it till you make it but you will never actually make it. You will have enough knowledge about something or multiple things so that you can talk to people like you know but you will not actually to put those things into enough practice to actually know.”
That hit it!
It struck me like a ton of bricks.
It stuck with me for weeks, until I turned one day and said “ Heck no! That is not going to be me!”
I decided from that day forward that the phrase “fake it till you make it” would no longer be a part of my life.
You see that phrase had always been one that I used because I mean it was one that people would tell me I should do. Fake like you know what you’re doing until you actually learn. Fake like you are something until you actually get there. Fake it till you make it!
But Beautiful People how twisted is that phrase?
It is telling us that by lying about who we are and what we know one day we will actually get there.
By believing that we are telling ourselves by lying we will get we want.
But what happens when you don’t make it?
What happens if you’re like me, and after reading those test results I realized that for me faking it was more comfortable than actually making it.
Competency doesn’t mean that you know how to, it means that you have the knowledge and the skill and have put that into practice enough times that you are successful at it.
But when you fake it you aren’t actually doing it, are you? I mean at least that is the case for me.
For me faking it till I make it means I will learn enough to make people believe that I’m successful and once I have gotten them to believe that I will stop there.
How sad, right?
And maybe you are like that too.
Maybe while reading this you are realizing that you have been faking your lifestyle, your personality, your love, your commitments, your relationship with God.
Maybe you are being or doing just enough so that people see you and think “wow that person really knows what they are talking about” but never really put any of that “knowledge” into practice.
If so I want to ask you this…
What happens you can’t fake it anymore?
What will happen when you get tired of the lie?
What about when you wake up in a year or two and are stuck in the same place you are now? All because you’ve been putting so much effort into faking it that you didn’t actually learn or put it into practice enough to actually make it.
I pose this new phrase
“Don’t fake it or you’ll break it”
I have been trying to live by this now.
Don’t fake that you know how to do anything or you feel something, or are anything just because you want others to see you as successful or competent, as put together or “stable”.
Don’t because one day you’ll break.
Either you’ll get so tired of the lie you have to keep up that your break down or someone else will find out and break you down.
And either way, the mask will come down and the lie will be exposed.
If you don’t know how to or have never heard of a topic then just say so. Own up to the fact that you are not knowledgeable or skilled in that yet and then work your butt off to learn.
Get help, get a tutor, watch videos and actually become competent in that area so that way when someone asks you how you do it you can speak from experience not based on what you read online that someone else said.
Faking it till you make it take so much time and effort.
It’s easier to actually learn how, actually do, and actually be than pretending you can and know or are just so others can think you’re successful.
Keep On Living!!!
‘But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing. ‘